Let me tell ya learning to walk again twice was hell! Service from 1998-2018 absolutely amazing but came with loss! America is free because we sacrifice it all for you! Remember that!

God Bless You all….

Surfman374 DMR

my block party love you guys once on my blocked list that’s where you will remain, for me to become this version I had to go through every thought every emotion and be truly honest with me, niccole, my kids. Obviously it’s cost me my marriage, maybe we can reconnect it’s my daily prayer obviously I’m correcting my situation that I got myself into this year. But truth be told going to jail saved me, I was able to host prayer call like 99-100 days opening my eyes to what’s important. Love! Truth, Trust. I got out on a strict program called VetCourt. July 13 2022 Was given 18 months to complete this program. Upon completion my record will be cleared completely and I will be a free man. Also in program To include drug addiction/abuse drug class which I will graduate tonight been in class all week, as well as 120 hours community service which I completed within these last 4 months so I’m proud I focused. Proud I knocked out the community service hours already. I’m proud I’ve been totally sober 10 months proven with UA’s still monthly BTW no HEMP/CBD, 14 months no alcohol, 2 years no cannabis, since 2019 no pills. I’ve learned about my subconscious and how it effects my consciousness (even wrote a book on it) 😉 what happened inside me trust me what happened inside me after 10 major surgeries and what I did while serving america cost me and what I do now effects the outside world and others I share it with. I’ve learned to embrace my anxiety, depression, insomnia, ptsd, central nervous system disorder, pain I learned about the poor choice I made the night before I retired June 2018 when I ate a handful of pills because I didn’t feel worthy enough to provide for niccole or her family. I learned to be honest with my self and others. I learned to put life into action. I became a Catholic Disciple, I’ve studied the Bible, Quran, the Torah relentlessly! I became classified and verified as an Empath. Taking further steps to use this gift for me so one day I can help others. I had to heal through every thought every emotion. And remain sober for me my family my kids. My fellow veterans. Yes it cost me GatorGripp, yes it cost me my panga, my tournament, my taxidermy hobby, yes it cost me my home. Yes i was homeless. Yes I lost the love of my life in divorce . So that is what I pray for now. I pray GOD reunions us. I pray GOD allows me and her to break the chains of a multigenerational curse called divorce. I pray I can hunt and fish again to provide for my family. I even lost a total of 220 Lbs in the last 11 years. So to go back in time is healing. I express myself because it is helpful to me and others. I’m an Empath not ego! This journey cost me all my friends. I was financially crippled got out of jail with no funds. But GOD blessed me with a beautiful place to live and I’m thankful for the help niccole played in that. From helping me move to even helping get me this place. You see she is my best friend. I do love her. And one day I pray we are reconnected in love and life. This journey comes with a mountain of judgement. But at the end of the day if it wasn’t for cannabis, then hemp I would not be sober. Alcohol was never my thing. The pills only masked what I needed to do and that was face my demons pray for my angels find balance. I’m not saying I wouldn’t love a craft beer, a glass of wine. Trust me I would! What I’m saying is mentally I’m a powerhouse sober. And physically able to over come. What it took was putting me first. So unfortunately loosing everything allowed this. Jail allowed this. Journey to Damascus becoming a disciple allowed this. Working with VETCourt has allowed this. To me the last few years have been an adjustment to my compass course. I’m thankful for that. Because working with the county, the veterans service office, a national nonprofit called heroes on the water has been so healing! The Veterans Affairs have been so healing! The Texas Veterans Commission unbelievable! The VeTCourt absolutely awesome! So here’s to rebirth, born again, my great awakening call it what you will. But here’s to being real! Real honest about what it takes and sacrifice to get there. GOD Bless you all. I’m not looking forward to being alone thanksgiving who does? I’m definitely not looking forward to Christmas alone who would? But I am looking forward to doing the best I can with what path I’m on. Trust me if I had a family to provide to I would totally be hunting and Spearfishing again. But can’t have my guns till January 8th 2024. So till then just using time wisely.

God Bless You all….