Was sobering up worth it?

In 2018 I was dead, after 26 prescriptions years of suffering from anxiety, depression, insomnia, PTSD, even 3 attempts at Suicide I knew it was either “now or never”! I had to face my demons! From a child till 2019 I had been on some type of prescription be it painkillers or stuff because I am an #indigochild lmfao actually never been diagnosed #ADDADHD as an adult! But was diagnosed as a #PositiveEmpath yep #UncleSam said I was #HyperCreative I can say this when ya wake up the day of your retirement dead inside and stumble through it, it sucked! I remember looking at Niccole Ramsey thinking how the hell am I gonna provide for this woman and my kids I just had my 10th surgery and last night ate a handful of pills. As I stumbled my way through my retirement ceremony in the early summer of 2018 I thought to myself, no way GOD! I’m never going out like that! I’m a #Hero I won the #AtlusTendo #AfrasGoldMedal I have to beat these demons and these pills! Because I deserve it so does she and so does my children! My family my friends #MyTribe I will say this prescriptions have a time and place but the side effects are real! I felt dead lost way over weight and the world was dark. I saw shadow people (eventually saw rainbow people) I’m not joking the #spiritualwarfare was real! It’s not that one pill was bad it was the combination of all of them that brought out my worst! I said and did things I look back on now and think OMG I’m thankful for my now exwife, my guardian angels , my creator, my children! Because even though some real bad stuff happened and some real bad accusations came my way. I never hurt her them never was working with cartel, a militia, never ran dope never ran humans. Definitely never was a “mule”! Lmfao but let me tell ya! 100days in county was hell. Meeting all the gangs cartel mc’s hosting prayer call was a blessing. The stories men told me blew my mind. It made me appreciate living simple. Living sober and thankful for GOD. Trust me #NeverGiveUp because the man I was is not the man I Am! #prayersgoupblessingscomedown trust me the day I got out of jail I kissed the ground! 100days no sunshine was hell! #BlessedByTheKingdoms true story every man (and woman) in that place from corrections officers medical staff to inmates blessed me. Not what I was expecting but it was unbelievable hearing the stories at prayer call. #PrayerCall now I just wanna see my kids for real. Because like I told niccole I just wanna heal and get sober and spend time with my family… 🤙🏁🇺🇸 sometimes even heroes need a correction of the compass course GODBless y’all love ya todays a better day because I’m sober praise god love ya Jesus amen Holy Ghost… mind body soul good to go be better do better amen! Amen 🙏🏾 #Surfman374

So was it worth it? YES it was I’m alive have beautiful kids and look forward to everyday I wake up

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