I love being honest with myself for me that’s all social media and all the apps are just a cool way to journal life
When it comes to life
It’s okay to pursue personal happiness, self love, self care. It’s okay to sober up, to free yourself from as prescribed. If it’s good and it heals you modern medicine is beautiful. Not all pills are bad but to much can ground you at the bottom of the rabbit hole. I learned addiction can become a tomb stone over that hole. What’s beautiful is pain. Yes some days it can be overwhelming, other days a restriction. But with hard work you can free yourself. You can find peace in dark places. It starts with caring enough to try. It comes with a price. A daily devotional to understand sunshine, rains, and even hurricanes you have to be willing to weather the storm. It’s true the WarRoom is made better with prayer it’s made better with love and support. Which also ment I had to lower my shield my sword. And embrace and trust in those who know more who are truly helpers. In three years I went from a man who lost him self to a man who better understands him self and his own limits. Ive burned ships, bridges,friendships and even family ties. But through strength I also built up and realized what I now have. Blessings and discovery. I life lived in which is amazing and journey that was and still my s amazing. This has been a journey. It’s been a daily devotional. It’s been a reconstructed reconnection with me myself and I. I want to thank you who called. You who helped. You who text. And you who said prayers. I want to thank those who never turned away. Who looked on and cheered. I want to say sorry for those I worried. And for those who are no longer with me, I pray you discover the joys. I pray you discover peace in your own life. We are not given a time line we are only given the gifts of the present. Life gets better with sacrificing and change. It gets better when you go to bed after a day in which you made it better. Each of us is in control of our own actions. Each of us are capable of more. But you have to want it. For me it’s not about a bank account. The size of my home or what’s in it. What I drive, or how cool my boat is. It’s always been about doing what I can with what I have and those who showed up to enjoy the ride. Even the toughest rescue still took a team. Even Heroes need Heroes. And today like so many before, showed me who still is all in. Who still is my ride or die. The last few weeks have allowed for medical rehabilitation, therapy, and doctors. I’m proud of my local Texas Veterans Commission and VA! I’m proud of my brothers and sisters still standing the watch and very proud of my veteran family still checking on me. No I’m not gonna hurt my self. Yes I’m down sizing and making changes in my life changes that will only make me better. Let this shine light on something I learned last year at rehab! The palms taught me to journal so I took to social media and put it all out there! This is my journal so it can be used read and your interpretation of what you read is your choice. But I will say this it’s helped me heal being this brutally honest. After twenty years I saw and did things that won’t go away. But three years later now I’m learning to embrace those days and not fear them. I’ve learned my public opinion matters because let me tell ya, people cast judgment daily. My advice judge me not till your smiling , don’t judge a man trying to learn to love his kids, don’t judge a man trying to love his wife. And don’t judge a man who’s only doing his best. This goes for Women as well because girls y’all rock. We are all here to live out our best life. I hope I can continue to help others because in the end it’s been over three years since the attempt to end the game happened. It’s been over three years since I ate a few more pills. It’s been since 2014 since I tried for the second time, and 2004 I believe was the first time. Ya see it was because of divorce I tried, because I though if I wasn’t good enough for my wife what’s the point of another day. Talk about wow. Words of wisdom, never let the actions of others dictate your actions. Never let haters slow ya down, never let trolls win, the devil loves evil. So shine a light on that. God means Good Order and Discipline it doesn’t mean my way is the only way. Just means it took a lot of hardwork to become this honest. If failure was the score card it would equal my success. Life is about what makes you happy, and if you decide to share it with others make sure they are on your side. Because for ever fan you will have a hater. Please continue to say hey, but remember when I say I’m good I’m good, if I’m trying to down size it’s only because I’m making room for a better healthy life more balanced with a few less options and lanes.
I love fresh air, the beach, our rivers, lakes, and streams. I love mountains and deserts. The Sunrise and Sunset. Sure if I can’t sleep ya might seem me jogging or walking at 2:30am but ya know what that don’t make me crazy, that just means I’m doing what I love. If I go nuts on taxidermy it’s becUse I wanted to be one of those guys once. Then I discovered I’m way to in love with the living side of wildlife. Yes I get more please from hitting the x on a foam target than I do gutting a bull elk. I’ve done all that. For now I’m a fish hunter but that’s only because on one breath it’s like going to a seafood market and now instead of tons of fish it’s one or two. I reconnected with the creative side and water Color oil painting is a blast. I write daily in my online journals only to keep myself honest. Not to worry others. I’m proud of the journey. I’m proud of the tribulation the struggle is real but it’s also one to be proud of. The most epic love story is the one that comes true… so go forth and love what you do. Be proud of it. Share it talk about because in the end if I didn’t post on social media I wouldn’t have a social media account. But I do snd this is how I use mine. You won’t hurt my feeling if you unfollow or unfriend. If ya leave a comment it won’t hurt either. We all all vulnerable but we can all be stronger. It doesn’t happen over night. It’s taken me 42 years to be brave enough to be honest with myself and share it. Love y’all have a good night cheers from south texas